oh life

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Yes I'm amazing at bloggingggg.. not..
Lol sorry guys I get so wrapped up in life I forget to slow down and write about it. Well lately Harlow has been stiff and cranky again we're praying it's just her teeth and that's her way of telling us cus I don't know what else it could be? It's super frustrating not being able to help her and the only thing that seems to work is leave her alone which sucks cus I want to hold her and be there for her but clearly she's little miss independent .. oh life when did you get so damn hard? Life has become so much more real to me now not that it wasn't real before but the " oh that won't happen to me" happened with my dad and my daughter so I'm so scared of something happening to me or bobby now for the most part we're some what healthy I mean could be worse but could be better who seriously follows the food pyramid these days? I have had a problem with my left shoulder for years now and it has been progressively getting worse to the point where it's all I can possibly think about because it's always hurting but I'm too scared to get surgery because I can't not be there for harlow n bobby ... also this is where knowing my family's history would come in handy but we've already been over that never gonna happen so I guess I'm officially a mom now worrying about everything seeing things different and seeing how everything can possibly hurt you so this is fun lol.. I love my life tho don't get me wrong I think of all the times before harlow was here and how easy things were but it will never compare to her being her and how much love we have for her it's worth every second sometimes it's funny when we go to dinner and are hooking her up to her tube and it's like wtf is going on how did we get here?! But I am greatful for all I've learned so far and it's only been 9 months I can't wait for what else I'm gunna learn I'm starting to really like the new me I catch my self wanting to help others so much more and being more kind to strangers I don't judge in my head like I used to (face it we all did it at one point) I'm able to think I wonder what's going on in that persons life instead of thinking oh gosh why are you being so dramatic don't get me wrong I still have my moments where I get annoyed by random stuff but I am still a girl I still get crazy once a month lol! My post partum seems to have jumped in to the back seat again thank god cus it rising shot gun was really annoying but if I've learned anything it's not over just yet whenever I think I've kicked it and I'm finally happy and content it rears its ugly face and says oh let's have some fun shall we? I hope it stays away but who knows I know I still have my down days and says where I can't stand this happening to Harlow but they don't come as often as they did before so I'm greatful for that... I think that's all for now talk to you guys later! ❤️

Just keep swimming

Monday, July 3, 2017

Ah so per usual I suck and writing blogs this is why I am not a blogger I would have been fired long ago if I did this for a living lol... but I seriously never get a moment to just sit and write anymore I used to love to go to barns and nobles and just write (I have attempted writing 3 books now) all of which I never finished can you believe it?! I can lol it's not that I don't finish what I start even tho that is exactly how it sounds it's just I get stuck or side tracked and it dosnt seem that important yada yada yada but this however is very important to me so I should be better at it butttttt I'm not lol as you have all learned by now I have a slight issue with always being in a rush I haven't figured out if that's me or the coffee at this point lol but I'm writing now so let's get started shall we?? Harlow had her first real real pool encounter today she's dipped her toes in before but today she went all the way passed her belly which is huge because one she hates water and two she hasn't been fully submerged since before her gtube! So it was really cool to do somthing normal for a change not tip toeing around the damn tube like always. So yea she hated it but towards the end I really noticed that she was starting to come arround to the idea but then started having some infant spazzums sooooo that could mean the water was to stimulating or it was just to much for her to comprehend at the time ether way I will not give up because one you can't not like the pool and two swimming is amazing for therapy of course if it continues I'll never force her to do somthing she's not comfortable with but we gotta give it a solid try. Other then that we have a good feeding routine going thank god no more wake up every two hours to start or stop the pump now we feed thru the day and let her tell us at night when she's hungry and trust me she lets us know if she is but so far so good about 5-6 hours a night of sleep and that is huge for all you mamas out there you know what I mean lol let's seeeee I really don't think I have anything else I mean I know I could give more details hut in all honesty I'm super tired lol night guys 🦄🖤
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