the new stuff

Friday, April 14, 2017

Alright guys update time!

So we got her off the formula again and she's back on almond Milne which is great but in order for it to work I have to add things to make up for the loss nutrition that's fine by me but did you know here is no such thing and a nut protine additives? Which is what she needs .. so instead she gets baby food meats did you also know that in each little jar is only 8 grams which means she needs to eat 4 a day to get the intake she needs that's in a normal formula? Fun right that's not even going in to her carbs she needs this keto diet is sucking the life out of me 😩 But whatever she needs...

I went to my therapy appointment the other day I go every two weeks and I'm the least bit ashamed let me break it down for you.. I have a problem so why wouldn't I want to fix it? I've struggled with depression and anxiety the majority of my life and I know a lot of girls say that and I'm not saying they are luring I just feel everyone has their own threshold I hit mine clearly lol there has been some talk about possibilities of sending me to a meditation rehab to try and get me back on track and able to be more helpful for harlow cus I'm still unable to actually face her diagnosis as well as talk to any one with a child that is disabled it's just to hard for me right now I get super freaked out and panic so no social media for me or google for that matter it's very annoying because I know talking to other moms would help me but noooo my brain has other plans I guess .. all in good time but anyways I went and explained to her I have been feeling very anti social lately and it's been really hard to get thru my day to day life I feel horrible not answering peoples texts or messages sometimes and I don't know why I just can't do it she thinks it's like I get all my harlow talk out once a day and then I'm tapped out so I mean I get it because after a while it's very hard to talk about the bad stuff over and over esp when I can't fix it so that's my next step in facing my own fears to try and push thru and start opening up to the idea of talking to people instead of avoiding things..

As for harlow her stomach is doing better but we're backed up again from the new formula which I knew would happen so gotta get thru that but I've noticed she's been having more seziures lately I think her body is readjusting and so many things are happining all at once and it's just to much for her so please pray we get that back under control down to 3 a day again or nothing at all!! Okay I'm falling asleep night guys!! Xoxo

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