I know I know I suck at blogging

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Okkkkkkk so I suck at this I've just been so busy lately but I'll try and update tonight
Starting with Harlows acid reflux has finally calmed down man was that the longest 3 weeks of my life and I thought labor was long lol she's finally starting to come back to her cute little BENDABLE self 🙌🏼 you have no idea how hard it is to cuddle a baby that you can't bend but in all seriousness in my situation I have had to become extremely desensitized to the majority of the things that happen with Harlow and even tho it's so had cus I can't have the emotions I should i have no choice anymore I have to protect my brain and heart in order to keep sain for the nugget it's a rollercoaster some things effect me more then others so it's strange cus the things I think will hurt me don't and the things I think should be a cake walk have me in tears ie yi yi what happened to my life?! I don't mean that negatively but I don't even recognize myself anymore or any portion of who I used to be I mean I guess that's a good thing because if I was who I was before all of this there is no way I would still be here standing I would probably be in a padded room by now ... welll what else OH she got approved for another physical therapist so now she has 2 for her eyes two for her brain and 2 for her physical body it's safe to say she's pretty popular not gunna lie lol but how awesome is that now my weeks will be completely full but like I said before I'll do whatever it takes thank god I can put her in a car seat again cus for a lil there I am surprised I could even go in the car with her to her drs appointments with out actually ripping out my hair lol next we have to choose if we want to do another MRI soon they basically think everything will look the same but part of me wants to see if her brain has grown if so what has and so on but they would have to put her under in order to do it so I'm not ok with that meh decisions decisions being a parent of a special child is like a lot of decisions that's for sure I'm sure all parenting is but you get what I mean as for me and bobby we have been butting heads lately but I think a lot of it is letting off steam because of her constant crying and fussyness our lack of sleep and all that finally took a toll lol but we're back on track now that she is now all we need from her isssss TO POOP! Ugh I've never wanted poop so bad in my life lol I hope it happens soon cus she's finally feeling better I don't want it to go down hill again okay I think that's all for now I'm falling asleep as I write this lol night guys ❤️

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