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Wednesday, January 18, 2017

So today was rough not going to lie I have been feeling like I'm the worst mother lately cus I can't help her when it comes to the seizures god I would give anything for her just to have a hard time with therapy these seizures are just impossible ugh we went to Disneyland today and it just was not happening for her from pretty much the second I got there she was upset and having infant spazzums then I think she was over stimulated and just could not get a grip she didn't calm down until I pulled in to my drive way ... yes that car ride was one I could have lived with out if you were wondering lol then about a hour later even tho she was home and I changed her in to her comfy jammies and laid down with her she was not having it started all over again I feel like once the day is set in motion that's just how it's going to be till the next day so here's hoping tomorrow goes better.. she has her therapy tomorrow morning which is always exciting because normally she makes progress but with the spazzums it makes it hard cus she gets so tired from them so I hope she gets a break and can do her therapy with none.. as for me I've aged 10 years in one day it feels like also we have Been saving for ever it feels like and have lived with my mother far longer then I would like nothing on her she's a god send but we need to start our routine with Harlow for us to start to feel normal but we can't get approved for a loan unless I'm working at a actual place and I do have a office job that I loved but not like I can just leave her alone with what's going on with these seizures not to mention all of her drs appointments her medications therapy and so on ... is a full time job in itself so not sure what to do at this point I don't want to rent and throw money we barely have away I just feel like we're banging our head in to the wall over and over again any time I feel like we get a break something else happens so pray that something opens up for us soon :/ also pray for these seizures to let up I dunno how Harlow feels but if it's anything like my heart it hurts 😔 On to other things I'm looking in to getting Harlow a seizure dog and seeing when or how old she has to be and so on I wish Enzo could do it but from what I have read they need to learn from birth pretty much but that would be cool for Harlow to have two dogs that protect her well that's all for today I hope to have some good news soon these post suck there so depressing :/ sorry guys! But thanks for following along it means a lot

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