Merry Christmas

Monday, December 26, 2016

So Christmas was very bittersweet for me it was awesome because my daughter was here and all year that's all I kept thinking is on my gosh I'm going to have a baby for Christmas this year but it definitely could've been a better Christmas I felt like I was just waiting for something to get ruined last night she started having seizures again and has been acting a little bit strange all day so luckily I haven't upped her seizure meds yet so I still have that before I have to take her back to the doctors so please please please pray that that will fix it so much for having all those good days right? but I will say that Harlow officially has more clothes than me and Bobby combined thanks to our families it was so fun to open presents for her and get her toys and everything so that's nice the hopeforharlow  shop is doing really good and I'm so grateful for everybody this is the one thing if I can get it going that will help us survive so when I say you guys have no idea how much this means to me you really don't me and Bobby want to live as much of a normal life as possible so our next step is to get a Home and though it's gonna take us a lot longer than it would normally for most people it's still our goal so I keep praying that somehow someway it'll happen.. with me not being able to work right now it's really hard on us I keep trying to figure out life as if I'm going to be able to figure it out I do believe that my faith has gotten 100% stronger in all of this and I keep telling myself God is not punishing me there's a reason he gave me her because I can do something for her no one else can but at the same time it feels like a punishment against her I've been watching her eyes lately and I can see that she really The majority blind so on top of not being able to develop mentally like a normal kid she also has to come over that hurdle not being able to see her own hands how was she supposed to suck her thumb or play with toys or smile at us because she doesn't know it's our faces she can just kind of see shadows so it's been hard to say the least but I do have faith and her I haven't lost that yet I just think I've lost faith in myself every time I feel like I'm really able to get over this postpartum depression something else happens and it throws me back I just wish things could be normal and I didn't have to make a new normal 2016 was the worst and best year of my life and my dad has passed away so you can imagine how bad this year has been I sure hope 2017 is different

4 comments:

  1. Most impressive of most is the mighty Christmas tree transferred from Pecka, a town northeast of Prague. The tree is erected at the Old Town Square and draped in a blaze of equipment and lighting. It is started up nightly around 5:30pm, and makes a magnificent sight place against Prague's dark gothic skyline.
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  2. The Christmas card is not a Danish invention, but came to the country from England where the first Christmas card was sent in 1842. Find more

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